Bye-Bye Binky

Leah said goodbye to her pacifier on Saturday. It was certainly time to say goodbye but still, I am a little sad. Not because Leah needs a pacifier but because I finally had to admit to myself that she's too old for it. Darn.

Leah having one last go with her binkies before putting them in the binky box to give to babies who really need them.

The first few naptimes/bedtimes went fairly smoothly. Leah would ask for her binky, then nod submissively when I'd remind her that we'd said bye-bye to the binky. She went to sleep with no problem.

Last night I think she finally realized that her binky is gone forever. "My binky?" She asked hopefully as I settled her down for bed. "No," I said, "We said bye-bye binky, remember?" And she cried a low,sad, heartbroken cry from deep inside that shook her whole body. I rocked her and told her that it's okay to be sad. She put her head on my shoulder, her little arms clinging to my neck, and had a good cry.

I felt like a bad mother. She didn't really like the binky as a newborn but I forced her to take it. Now, after she's fallen in love with it I take it away. Boo.

But it is done. And I think Leah has finished mourning her lost binky. Today she didn't even mention it. She was too busy playing with the toy she chose at the store for being such a big girl.

So, bye-bye binky. Thank you for saving my sanity with a newborn and for being such a good friend to my toddler. I think she still loves me.

Let the Sun Shine

The constant drizzle falling from the Seattle sky is finally getting to me. Seriously. I think the term "blah" is a fairly accurate description of my mood lately. My cooking has been blah. My house feels blah. My days seem too dark and too long. Blah.

That's why it was a huge blessing to wake up to sunshine this morning.

After breakfast, the girls and I promptly laid down in front of our windows and basked in the warmth, eyes closed, smiles playing on our lips. And I felt all of the "blah" feelings inside me melt away by the glow.

Oh dear Lord, thank you for the sun! It's good to know she's still out there.

And since I was too busy sun-bathing to take a picture, here is one from a year ago when we were in similar circumstances:

Preschool Love?

Lainy had a good Valentine's day. It was her very first time making and trading Valentines at school.

She came home with this:

There were three Valentines from a boy named Jamal. I admit I was a little unnerved. Who is this Jamal, anyway? What does he think he's doing giving my daughter three Valentines? Is that 4-year-old code for "I like you"? Hmmm.

I asked Lainy about Jamal.

"Oh he's one of my friends at school," she said. "Last week at play court he pushed Abdallah (another boy) down because he asked to be my very best friend. But I still played with Abdallah anyway."

Abdallah? Wow, the plot thickens.

Then Lainy said this: "Mommy, can I make a special card for my extra special Valentine?"

"Of course," I said feeling slightly panicky, "Who is your extra special Valentine?"

"My Daddy," she said simply.

That's my girl. How silly of me to think she had given her heart away at 4-years-old!

And when Lainy came home from school yesterday and told me that she, Jamal, and Abdallah had all played together at play court, I smiled. Suddenly it all seemed as sweet and innocent as I'm sure it's always been. My glimpse into Lainy's life as a teenager was all just an irrational bad dream...

But seriously, can you blame me?

Happy Valentine's Day

Love, Lainy and Leah

These Days

These days you'll find Leah leading her toys on adventures through her play kitchen and wearing cute new underwear.

These days you'll find Lainy loving school, doing experiments at home, and learning to swim on Saturday mornings.

Measuring the rain collected in our rain cup (it was full after one week)

These days you'll find Brad smiling like he hasn't a care in the world, applying for graduation from medical school (unbelievable), and secretly searching for affordable homes to rent in Boston.

These days you'll find me busily taking care of three little girls (mine plus Addie) and enjoying having a husband at home again.

If you were here Saturday, you would have found us cheering for Lainy at swimming lessons, eating brunch at Salty's, and rock climbing (in February!).

These days life is beautiful.