Benjamin

Benjamin Richard Hansen was born at 7:40 am on December 21, 2016. He was 7lbs 14 oz, 19.5 inches.

The weeks before he was born were long and a little scary. I was considered a high risk pregnancy so there were lots of doctor visits for monitoring. I spent a lot of time counting kicks. It was the only thing I could do to make sure all was well. Luckily, he was a very active baby and every time I got nervous, he would give a good strong kick. The good news was that the complications with the baby would all go away with birth. So if we could just get him here safely, all would be well.

I had priesthood blessings and though they didn't mention a healthy baby, they talked about faith, grace, and the Atonement. And though it was all a little scary, I had a peaceful feeling that it would be okay no matter what happened.

On December 19, when I was 38 weeks, my high risk OBGYN found a few more minor concerns during an ultrasound. He recommended that they induce my labor within the week. My OB, Dr. Bose, called and scheduled the induction for the following morning.

The Labor and Delivery department was so busy they had to reschedule my induction a few times, but we finally got in that evening and got the process started. It took a lot longer than my natural labors, but I was so grateful to be there and to have the baby monitored.

Brad and I have never been so emotional at a birth of our babies. I don't think either of us realized how concerned we had been of losing him. But there he was, healthy and beautiful. We were so grateful and so relieved.

We brought him home December 23, just in time for Christmas. I'll forever have a special place in my heart for that quiet, peaceful, sacred Christmas.

Benjamin is perfect. We love him so much and are so grateful he is here!

***Benjamin: "son of the right hand; beloved of his father"
      It is Jewish tradition to name the youngest son Benjamin.

Primary Program

Yesterday was the Primary Program in our church. Our Primary presidency and bishopric decided to approach the program differently this year. Since the program is a great day to invite friends and acquaintances to Church, they decided to cancel classes following the program and hold an open house instead. Each auxillary set up a table to show ward members and visitors what  goes on in that program. Children collected stamps on a card from each table to make it fun.

Also, instead of assigning rote lines and speaking parts, the presidency spent months speaking with each child and each class about what they wanted to share. What had that child, personally, learned in Primary? The theme was "I Know the Scriptures are True". Many of the children's comments were centered on favorite scripture stories and heroes. They chose the songs they wanted to sing. Then they made some beautiful invitations to give to family and friends.

Lainy and Leah were so excited. They each invited a friend and we invited our neighbors. Lainy's sweet friend, Gwyn, and her mom came! It's interesting to watch the program with someone who has never experienced anything in our church. You see it with new eyes.

I could tell that Gwyn's mom was particularly moved by all those children singing: "I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain. I want to be the best I can to live with God again."

Lainy talked about the Stripling Warriors who were just teenage boys, but had enough faith to fight for their beliefs. Leah talked about Nephi who didn't know how to build a ship, but Heavenly Father helped him make tools and showed him how. They both sang their sweet little hearts out.

It was a beautiful program with a sweet spirit. Children are amazing. Mine make me a better person.

Hartford Connecticut Temple Open House

Today we drove 2 hours to the Hartford, Connecticut temple open house. It was rainy and chilly, but so worth it.

Our kids haven't seen the inside of a temple before. When my brother, Jeff, got married in Salt Lake last December the kids waited in the waiting room inside the temple. It was loud and full of people waiting for wedding parties. Afterward, Leah said, "I didn't think the temple would be like that." I told her that the real temple isn't like that at all. It's still and quiet and peaceful and so very beautiful. Needless to say, Brad and I were excited to give her (and Lainy and Sam) a real temple experience.

It was pouring rain and COLD, but we dashed from our car to the tents outside the temple. We watched a beautiful video explaining what Mormons believe about temples. I loved the part where Elder Holland says, "I don't know how to speak about heaven without my wife and my children. It would not be heaven for me. You can say that's wishful thinking. You can say that you love each other and you've gotten cozy hear on Earth... It's a lot more than that."

As we were about to enter the temple, Sister Anderson (one of our old Sister Missionaries) came running over! She looked so good and so happy. It was great to see her.

I felt teary the whole time we were in the temple. Volunteers in each room spoke about the significance of the room and what was done there. It's such a beautiful temple. Very Colonial.

As we stood in the Celestial Room, I grabbed Brad's hand and choked back tears. What a sweet feeling to be there with our little family. We gathered the children around us and promised each other that we'd all make it back there sometime.

I'm so glad we made the drive. I'm grateful for temples and so grateful for the covenants Brad and I have made there that bind our family forever. My heart is full. I love these people.

Stolen Beach Day

 It was over 80 degrees and the girls got out of school early, so we decided to steal one last day at the beach. It was perfect.

Samuel and I got everything ready before picking the girls up. We loaded the back of the van, donned our swimsuits, and put their suits on the back seat. After picking them up, we just started driving to the beach.

"Um, Mom?" said Lainy pretty soon, "Why aren't we going home?"

"We're going to the BEACH!" burst Samuel, unable to keep the secret any longer.

Happiness ensued. We turned up Beach Boys for the drive and smiled the whole way there.

It was pretty much deserted and the parking was free. YES!

October beach days are a gift. I'm going to remember this perfect afternoon for a long time.

30 weeks prego...not bad

Goodbye Summer, Hello Fall

Fall is finally here in New England. I've been waiting for it to arrive. Heat, humidity, and pregnancy do not mesh very well.

The changing seasons make me sentimental. I thought I was looking forward to school starting, but when it came right down to sending my girls, I wanted them back. And when the leaves started changing I thought, "Oh, wait! Hold on a little longer! I want to go to the beach one last time!"

This summer we soaked up being home. It was slow mornings, pool days with friends, evenings at the beach, trips to the library for reading prizes, grilling for every meal, town festivals, fires and s'mores, lightning bugs in the back yard, warm and sticky nights, and going to bed late because the sun likes to linger. It was lovely.

Now it is October. And though we loved our summer, I can relate to this poem:

"Pale amber sunlight falls across
the reddening October trees,
That hardly sway before a breeze
as soft as summer: Summer's loss
seems little, dear! On days like these."

"Let misty autumn be our part!
The twilight of the year is sweet:
Where shadow and the darkness meet
our love, a twilight of the heart
eludes a little time's deceit.

A little while and night shall come,
A little while, then, let us dream."
    (Ernest Dowson)

Time to soak in another season.

First Day of School 2016 (Lainy 4th, Leah 1st)

Apple Picking

Fall in New England is something to behold. For me it's the most wonderful time of the year. The crisp air is so refreshing after a hot, humid summer. We try to pack every weekend full of fun stuff. Last Saturday was apple picking.

Originally our plan was to go for a bit of a drive up through the white mountains of New Hampshire. That way we could kill two birds with one stone: leaf peeping and apple picking all in one! We left early hoping to beat any traffic, but within five miles away from our house we were stuck. And it got worse. And worse. Stop and go. Our 2 hour trip was turning into 4-5 hours. Gag.

We changed plans. I looked up the closest apple farm: Mack's Apples in Londonderry, New Hampshire. We took the next exit and were on our way.

Macks' Apples is family owned and operated since 1732. That blows my mind. There was an old barn converted into a store and four apple orchards to choose from. We picked our favorites, Cortland and Macintosh, and a few other varieties. We finished the trip with donuts and fresh apple cider. Yum!

Monday the girls were out of school for Columbus Day, so we made applesauce. They were great helpers. And the applesauce is amazing. The trick will be to not eat it all right away!

New England Fall: may you linger as long as possible!

The Long Drive Home

Our 3-month stint in Albuquerque gradually came to an end. Some days we loved it there. Some days we really missed Massachusetts. Homeschooling went better than any of us could have expected. We made some great friends (the Smiths). And what really made it hard to leave was the pool outside our apartment. We went swimming every single day. It was glorious.

But we didn't miss the tiny apartment or Brad's hours at work. By the time it came to leave, we were all ready.

Fun side note: a month before his rotation ended, Brad broke his hand while rock climbing. Yeah. Not good. He had to wear a big cast up to his elbow. He booked an appointment with a hand specialist the morning we planned to start our drive back to Massachusetts. We were crossing our fingers that it was healing well.

The kids and I packed while Brad went to his appointment. He came back with no cast! It looked like it was healing great. Relief!

So, with our cars packed to the brim, we started our cross country trek.

We had to make the drive in 3 days. Ugh. Brad couldn't take any time off for travel and his graduation from residency was Friday, June 24. We left Tuesday, June 21, and planned 10 hour driving days with sleeping stops in Missouri and Pennsylvania.

It was such a long drive. Oh my goodness, it was long. Looking back, I can't believe we did it with two cars, three small kids, and me 12 weeks pregnant. It was a whirlwind.

Everything was going according to plan until Wednesday. Our path was taking us straight through some severe weather in Missouri, Indiana, and Ohio. Severe weather meaning tornados. Tornados?! I don't even know what to do if you're driving through a tornado. We prayed really hard that everything would be ok and that we'd miss the storms.

For most of the day we miraculously stayed ahead of the storms. Thinking the worst was behind us, we stopped outside of Indianapolis and ate a Little Ceasar's Hot 'n Ready pizza in a parking lot. Classy. We took out time and stretched our legs. The kids fell asleep when we got back in the car.

Our goal was to make it to Pennsylvania. Around 10:00pm it started raining. By 11:00 it was a downpour and we could see lightning in the distance. Then the wind started blowing like crazy and lightning was striking all around us. Brad's little car was having trouble with the rain. We had to stop.

We were somewhere in Ohio. The hotels were all full except a little Motel 6. It was not ideal, but we were grateful for a safe place to stop for the night.

The wind and rain pounded all night. In the morning some trees around the hotel were down. Crazy!

We decided to drive through New York since the storms were predicted to go through Pennsylvania. New York is annoying to drive through. It was a two lane road which was packed with traffic and every time you exited you had to pay a toll. So annoying.

That last day was the longest. My body was aching. Somehow, the kids were all doing amazing.

Around 7pm we passed into Massachusetts! Yay!

We arrived home after 11pm. Brad's parents had beaten us to our house (they'd come to attend Brad's graduation). Our house looked so big and clean and nice. And our bed had never felt so good!

Brad graduated from residency the next day. I couldn't have been more proud of him.

Adjusting and Belonging

Our church meetings are at 1:00 now. It's been surprisingly hard to adjust to the change. For the past three years church has been at 9:00 (we're the only congregation to meet in our building in Massachusetts). That's pretty much all my kids remember. So 1:00 is different.

Leah wakes up at 7:30am every Sunday and gets herself dressed in her Sunday best: dress, shoes, hair and all. She's always done this. But now she just...waits longer for the actual event. (And maybe looks a little more rumpled for the wait?)

Lainy is the last to get dressed (she likes her pajamas too much), but the first to organize her church bag. She carefully packs her scriptures, a little notebook, some crayons, and always something small for Samuel (usually a car). But once it's packed, she's the one asking for something to do.  "Is it time yet?" she asks  over and over.

Samuel, my reluctant napper, has reached zombie-like state by the time church is over at 4:00. I worry about him in Nursery... he can get loud and aggressive when he's tired.

Brad is usually at the hospital early Sunday morning trying to see his patients so he can make it to Sacrament Meeting. He's made it every week except one, sometimes still wearing his scrubs (they are an unfortunate bright teal color). Our first week in the Albuquerque ward, Brad came in wearing his scrubs and a jacket. After the meeting someone commented on his pants. "That must be the style in Boston!" she said. Brad tried to hide his horror by laughing it off, "Sorry, no. I just came from work!".

For me, even though the mornings are long and the afternoons too short, and even though getting three kids out the door by myself isn't my favorite, church is home. We walk into the chapel to the soft tune of familiar hymns and I take a deep breathe of belonging. It's amazing to me that we can go pretty much anywhere in this world and find a home and a family in the Church. Brad and I have seen it over and over. In Moscow, in Seattle, in Spokane, in Lynnfield, Massachusetts. It's the one constant in our world of change. With our faith in common, friends become family and strange places feel more like home. And, in this desert place, far away from everything familiar, that has been an incredible blessing. Again.


"That the gathering together upon the land of Zion, and upon her stakes, may be for a defense, and for a refuge from the storm." Doctrine and Covenants 115:6